My oldest has her Spring Break coming up and we have had the debate of the year (so far) about whether we should travel up to Utah for the week or not. It's been a battle of funds versus sanity and I think that sanity has won out. So, we will be making that blessed trip up to visit with the fam and see the old places that we once knew and loved. I just hope that I'll be willing to come back at the end of the week. Here's to travelling back and hoping that the Benedryl will last and be effective enough for the kids to not drive me insane before we get there.
I have 3 little ones that came with us to California and for as difficult as its been for me to adjust to this new place, it's been even more so for them. Especially for Lu, she is the oldest, in school and feeling the real effects of our move. She misses her friends in Utah and is kind of shy when it comes to inserting herself with this new crowd. She is really feeling it and its killing me. I want to break down and cry when she comes home and says that she hasn't played with anyone that day and that she doesn't have any friends. What do I say to that? All I can think of is that she will find friends and it will get better and easier for her. Although, she isn't feeling that and I hope that it does happen soon so she doesn't stop believing the things I say to try to encourage her. She has one friend that she's made and she really likes her. She thinks that she is super cool. This little girl has a star wars backpack and Lu thinks that is about the coolest thing ever! My hope is that this friend will continue to be nice to her and that she will eventually gain more friends because of it.
Lu came into us the other night after bedtime and started crying. She told us about a couple girls that sit at her table and tease her at school because she doesn't work as fast as they do. I thought that the curriculum would be different here and that she might have a bit of a struggle fitting in with the way things are taught here, but I had no idea just how far behind she would be. At this point in the year she is a year behind all the other kids. Now, I met with her teacher for parent/teacher conferences before we moved and she said that Lu was pretty well on par with all the other kids. They are on a different, but same curriculum here. The same in the way that Utah started implementing it last year and different in that California implemented it when it was first released, which gives them like a 5 year advantage. All of the kids in her class learned what she was learning at her old school in Kindergarten. So, now we need to find a quick solution to fix this problem and in order to do that, we need to throw a bunch of money at it to get results fast. Because, the alternative is that she repeat the 1st grade, and that just can't be an option.
Buddy is my pal. He is a good boy, but the thing that he has struggled with so much since we've been here is loneliness. He just wants a friend. I am trying my hardest to get him to meet some of the other kids around here so he can play with them. And in the meantime am trying to take time to play with him myself. I'm not sure the way that other people work around here, but it seems that it is easier to pull nails out from under my nail beds then it is to get my little boy together with another little boy to play for an hour. Maybe its me. I'd feel a whole lot better knowing that it is me and that it has nothing to do with my little man. He is much too little and sweet to be so lonely all the time.
Erry is just happy to be here. The biggest struggle I've had with her is her eczema. And living here I've come to find out that eczema is aggravated by sand and salt water. Awesome. I've been losing the battle with her eczema ever since we got here. Some days it's better than others, but it doesn't ever seem to go away completely. I can't wait for her to potty train. Hopefully that will happen sooner as opposed to later this year.
Overall I'd say that we are adjusting as best as we can. I feel pretty helpless some days on my kids behalf. I wish that I could take all their pain away and just let them be kids. But, then I think that maybe Heavenly Father is trying to teach me something and I should have more faith. But, as soon as one of them cries about not having anyone to play with I wonder what that is teaching them, not me. I am trying my best to make connections and hopefully they will find some good friends here soon. Because, we really aren't going to be going anywhere anytime soon.
I have been contemplating about sharing my plight(s) as of late. I have a few things that have stacked up over the last week or so, since the new year.
First plight; I had an old friend de-friend me on FB. This shouldn't be a thing at all, but it is, unfortunately. It causes my eye to twitch a little. Not that our friendship was deep or that I thought it would be long lasting in any regard, other than through the internets. I am trying to adjust to the fact that she blocked me completely. Now, to sidestep here; I took a 'Which Downton Abbey Character Are You?' quiz and it came up with 'Thomas'. I was a little taken aback by this result, but I guess that its kind of accurate. I am not a big fan of people in general, in fact, I'm much more "judgy" than most. (I really should reel that in for the new year) Also, I do have a way of manipulating situations to my favor, not something I'm super proud of, but recongnition is the first step to recovery, right? Anyway, this brings me back to the de-friending part. Maybe its because I'm more of a Thomas that I can't seem to keep and maintain friends. I blame myself. I am not a very good friend, period.
Second plight; I got a call from my mom this morning, who is living in our house in Utah, telling me that the furnace isn't working. Great. I'm not sure what the problem is exactly, and hope that its something my brother can fix when he gets there this evening. If its more than that then we have serious problems. Crossing my fingers its not.
Third plight; We got the dreaded end of year email from our accountant for our 2013 tax bill. It wouldn't be a big issue if we weren't stil playing catchup with 2012 and 2011 and 2010... I hate, loathe, despise and abominate the IRS... with a passion!
I am at a loss this week and so all I can do is try my best not to have a mental breakdown. Just keep breathing. Tomorrow is another day and I will live to see it.
1. The Weather is Awesome!
2. We had the doors open all day long and enjoyed the ocean breeze.
3. Because it was so nice and warm, the day lasted a super long time, it seemed.
4. The Weather is Awesome!
5. The kids got slurpees and didn't complain about the cold factor.
6. I cooked Christmas dinner in my swimming suit.
7. The Weather is Awesome!
8. We get to go to Disneyland for New Years.
9. We hung out at the beach on Christmas day.
10. It was 84 degrees (did I mention that the weather is awesome?!)
If I'm being honest then I'd tell you all how I'm not loving it here so far. If I'm being honest then I'd relate how hard it was for me to drop Lu off to school that first day and how I broke down crying in front of her outside of her class. If I'm being honest then I'd say that Matty is having the hardest time and that he is lonely without friends and all he wants is an outlet, somewhere, somehow.
But, I'm not being honest today. Today, I'm being the optimist so that my kids feel like living here is the right thing and that they will grow to love it. Today, I'm pretending that California is the best place on earth and that us leaving our family and friends back in Utah is no big deal. Today, I've got my happy face on.
Because, honesty is the best policy.
I believe that this is the longest that I have been outside of the state of Utah since I was 2 years old, when we moved into the state of Utah. We moved from Arizona and I don't remember anything about living anywhere but there... I almost wrote here, meaning Utah. I am having a hard time imagining that I live in California, even though I'm living in California.
This last two weeks has been sort of blurry. We had Thanksgiving with Mike's parents, then the next day loaded the truck and left that night bound for St. George. We made the remaining part of the journey the next day and arrived 3 hours later than expected or planned. Traci, Jim and the kids were so excited that we were here that they met us on the freeway. I can't tell you which freeway it was because there are too many to keep track of here. I know that I followed Mike in the big yellow truck and he got us here, and Jim followed me, so we all arrived here at the same time.
Unloading the truck took about 5 hours total. Not even half the time it took to load the dang thing! We were super blessed to have such good friends and family there to negotiate our things and find places for them. We ended up having to leave a few things behind, which, hopefully we can go back and get soon... or, at least Mike can. It might be too early for me to go back. I might not let them bring me back here, meaning California.
I miss home. I miss my family and Mike's family. I miss that my kids had friends and schools and extra curricular activities that they enjoyed immensely. I miss the red rocks and the warm desert. I miss the weather and the cold... what?! (I miss it because I don't have it here) I walked Lucy to school yesterday and I was wearing a long sleeved shirt and flip flops. I kept passing people in coats and furry boots. Apparently I'll get acclimatized one day and will be as ridiculous as the people I passed on the street. Until then, I'm going to keep on mocking them and their unnecessary boots!
I hope that by my blogging whats going on here it will not only help me with becoming a part of this community, but will also let everyone who is worrying about me in Utah know that I'm fine here... even though I miss the cold and have a superiority complex with the silly people in furry boots that walk the streets of Redondo Beach. I am super excited that I finally found a way to combine all my blogging love from years past and can continue that in the years to come.
I hope you keep reading, cause my plan is to keep writing.
Honesty from the mouth of FoxyStarbuck:
I love my family (my hubby and little kiddies) They really are the world to me.
I hate when I feel left out of something.
I am happy when I am honest with myself and others.
I am unhappy when I disappoint my husband or anyone else that means a lot to me.
I love silly TV shows like Scrubs. (love that show!)
I don't know why there are people who try to figure me out without knowing anything about me.
I love a beautiful sunset.
I hate hangnails.
I am happy when my little kids give me hugs and slobbery kisses.
I am unhappy when they are hurt or unhappy themselves.
I love dry wit, sarcasm, or biting comments.
I don't want to be bothered with people who are too self involved to see that they play a vital role in their own life and choices.
I love my good friends who lift me up, strengthen me and listen to my stupidity and tolerate my insanity.
I hate that my neighbors house burned down 2 days before Christmas Eve this last year.
I love talking with people who allow me to listen to them and then want to hear my advice afterwards.
I love that my husband studies the Gospel constantly and is learning about sacrifice and the law of consecration, it puts my study time to shame!
I love that my family says prayers together morning and night, without fail. Love that!
I love that I have started to feel a real connection to Mike's Great Grandfather through the books that he wrote. Which, is weird because I don't feel a connection even with my own dead relatives that I have done temple work for.
I am happy when I cook... and eat... and make things that I can share with others... especially when it brings me praise.
I am amused that I have continued this list even though I clearly have shared too much.
I am stopping here.... you have heard too much already.
1 Chocolate/Chocolate donut from Dunford, yum!
1 Raspberry Fritter from Dunford
1 Coke, the real stuff
1 plate of artichoke pasta, another yum!
1 bowl of mint chip ice cream
1 plate of spicy rigatoni, spicy penne with sausage, lots of bread and some cheesy bread oh, and Dr. Pepper, the real stuff again.
I gained 6 pounds between the two days of gorging!?!?
Is this diet really meant to do that? I dunno, but it happened to me.
I can tell you that I felt so gross and imbalanced by the time I went to bed that I was happy to start the diet yesterday. So, I started and it went really well. I made a nice chicken, tomato and basil dish that hit the spot and then a chicken soup for dinner last night. I had apples for my fruit and those worked out pretty well. I wasn't all that hungry, probably because of all the pasta the night before. At any rate, it was a good first day... and I lost 3 pounds right out of the gate this morning. Not too bad for 4 days on the diet, but I still need to lose the other 3 pounds that I gained before I can say that I "lost" weight, right?
Anyway, today is a little bit more difficult with the hunger stuff. I've felt more hungry today so far than I did yesterday. But, I'll report more on that tomorrow.
Here's to the day... To good eats and more weight loss!
So, I'm trying it again and will be going for a 30 day stint, unless I feel really saucy after a few weeks and decide to extend another 13 days for the full 43 day stint. I am using the drops this time, not the shots, so there won't be any improper dosing going on, I hope. If I am trying to be sort of honest with myself I'd say that I need to lose 30 pounds to be where I am happy. And, if I'm being really honest with myself, I'd say that I need to lose 40 pounds. So, it depends on the day and time when it comes to being honest with myself.
Yesterday for my first binge day I ate:
- 2 slices of fat free bread (fat free, you say... well, I'll make up fo that!), with 8 Tablespoons of melted butter on top and a glass of 2% milk
- 1/2 a package of chips ahoy cookies with a glass of 2% milk
- 1 grilled cheese sandwich with a slice of colby/jack cheese, a slice of pepper jack cheese, 2 Tablespoons of butter AND a glass of 2% milk
- 1 bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream
- 2 plates of spaghetti with a tomato cream sauce with artichoke hearts (which I'll be posting on Zula's very soon)
- 1 more bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream with 2% milk and chocolate sauce, like a shake
2. It sucks your will to live once you become dependent on it, which will happen if it hasn't yet.
3. It gives you the false sense that everything is going to be fine, when in reality everything isn't going to be fine, because you will decide that you need the caffeine more than you need your arm and will proceed to chew off your arm in order to get more.
4. It makes you write run-on sentences when you are trying to illustrate the magnitude of its addictiveness.
5. It gives you a headache for about a week before it leaves your system, some hours are worse than others.
6. Along with the caffeine is the sucralose in the diet drink, it will make you feel more hungry and even munchy during the day when you have nothing but fruit snacks and fish crackers around... WARNING: you will eat them ALL and leave your little children hungry and crying for theirs!
7. It keeps you up at night tossing and turning and tossing and turning.
8. It keeps you up at night tossing and turning and tossing and turning.
9. It makes you repeat things that you forgot you said before.
10. It makes your drinks so much better, but in the end you are left with a week long headache and no memory. But, you do it because you want to sleep uninterrupted and remember things like the last time you brushed your teeth or what day of the week it is... and you want to stop writing run-on sentences too!
Here is a snapshot of 2010. You'll have to click on the image to get a real sense of what is going on in some of them, but as you can see it was a full year. Since I was almost a complete slacker when it came to blogging this last year, this will have to somewhat make up for my lack. This year is going to be better... even if all I type some days is "mmmmmmmmmmmmmm" at least it won't be nothing.
Its a new year with new resolves and... a new 101 list. I am in process of completing it, but some of my new 101 list includes things like:
Pay more attention to my blog and make additions regularly.
Take more picture to post on my blog and post them regularly.
Try to remember that all of my 5 followers are interested in my blog regularly.
I think theres a theme starting here, but I'm not quite sure what it is. Maybe its that I need to be more regular, wait... that didn't sound right.
I hope that the new year was as enjoyable for you as it was for me. My husband and I put the kids down and watched Gone with the Wind on bluray. It was an awesome night! My favorite movie with my favorite man, doesn't get much better than that.
Over the past couple of weeks I've been trying my hat at some new things like, crafty crafts and artsy photos that I've taken myself. I guess another thing that should go on my list is trying to be more creative on a more regular basis... there we go with the regular again.
Happy New Year everybody!